Author: Akayla Gardner

An estimated 6 to 7.5 million people are stalked in the United States annually. Stalking is a crime, yet many forms of stalking go unaddressed or unreported.

Stalking is defined as a course of conduct that involves repeated harassment made against another individual's wishes that terrorizes the victim causing them to feel fear, harassment, or intimidation. Stalkers often try to intimidate, harass, and control victims. The behavior may start slowly and escalate to the point that the victim loses personal safety, causing physical and psychological trauma.

Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous because no two stalking situations are alike. There are no guarantees that what works for one victim will work for another, yet there are steps one can take to increase their safety. Never approach a stalker or attempt to deal with them yourself – get help immediately.

Education on this issue can spark action in everyday people and law enforcement to support victims. This guidebook was created to help individuals recognize stalking behavior and find solutions to victimization.

Tactics

Stalkers typically use a pattern of unwanted behaviors or tactics that violate a victim’s privacy, making them feel frightened, in danger, or scared. Some tactics include:

Showing up to locations the victim is known to frequent;
Sending unwanted messages or calling repeatedly;
Hacking devices and accounts to garner information about the victim or cause fear;
Leaving unwanted gifts/notes;
Blackmail;
Tracking a victim through GPS;
Vandalism to victim’s property;
Burglary;
Fraud through running up bills on the victim’s accounts or identity theft;
Making slanderous remarks about the victim to people the victim knows or publicly; and
Making physical and/or verbal threats to the victim or their loved ones.

Stalkers may also target a victim’s circle of friends and family to communicate with the victim or harass others the victim knows.

It is important to know the signs of stalking since stalking can turn violent. Stalkers can turn to vandalism, threats, and even assault against the victim and their loved ones. It is important to take action early to try and stop the stalking before it turns violent.

Preventive measures and solutions

According to the Stalking Prevention Awareness and Resource Center, women are significantly more likely to be stalked than men, but it can happen to anyone.

Most victims are usually stalked by someone they know, likely a former boyfriend, girlfriend, acquaintance, etc. Victims should take all threats seriously, especially if there’s talk of suicide or murder or if victims are trying to leave or have ended a relationship.

If a victim knows who is stalking them, they should tell the stalker once, and only once, that they want their behavior to cease. Then, cut all ties with the stalker. While a victim might be tempted to continue communicating with the stalker, it is best not to answer calls or texts and avoid situations where the victim might run into the stalker. Interacting could lead the stalker to believe their behavior is wanted or increase their desire to follow the victim.

Stalkers use social media to track victims’ whereabouts. It’s safest to keep profiles private and turn off location services on phones and other accounts. Even if an account is private, stalkers can follow a victim’s location through friends and family who may tag victims’ in posts. Ask your friends not to post while you may be in a certain area, or ask them not to include the location. And to be safe, always use a hard-to-guess passcode to keep phones and other accounts secure.

Never leave your cell phone unattended near anyone you suspect may be stalking you. Stalkers can quickly install spyware software onto cell phones. Also, do not click on links you receive via text or email that you were not expecting, as these can be ways stalkers install spyware. Spyware may allow the stalker to read texts and emails, listen to conversations, gain access to passwords or accounts, and track your whereabouts.

When you suspect stalking behavior is taking shape, start documenting incidents in a log. Record the date, time, description of the incidents, location, and names of anyone who witnessed the incidents. Write down odd occurrences as well, even if you aren’t sure they are related to the stalking. Also, take photos or screenshots of any evidence when possible. Save voicemails, emails, letters, and any physical evidence from stalking incidents. This will be useful information to present to law enforcement to show a history of the behavior and possibly intent or motive, as well as being used if legal action must be taken to resolve the stalking.

Other helpful tactics include:

Change account passwords often;
Change your phone number and limit those who know the new number;
Prepare an emergency bag in case you must leave your home at a moment’s notice;
Develop a safety plan for the unexpected;
Contact a victim-support agency or crisis hotline;
Tell friends and family about the stalking;
Alert your workplace security;
Shred all unwanted mail or papers with personal information;
Get a post office box for your mail;
Avoid traveling alone if possible;
Switch up your daily routine and normal routes that you walk or drive; and
Stay with family or friends if you feel unsafe.

Victims should always trust their feelings. If they feel unsafe or scared, they should get help. Law enforcement's usual course of action is issuing a restraining order against the stalker, which must be approved by a judge. Victims should alert law enforcement early, even if they are unsure if they have enough evidence. This will help law enforcement become familiar with the situation.

Many victims fear the stalking will never end. If you are a victim of stalking or know anyone being stalked, support them, and encourage them to take action. There is life after being a victim of stalking.

Ashleigh Diserio Consulting assists victims of stalking and other crimes through victim advocacy. Our services can be found here. Contact us if you need assistance. You are not alone.

Diserio Consulting is a professional service firm that works with individuals and organizations, assisting them in gleaning insight into behavior. We provide services in life coaching, criminal investigations, management support, insider threat, victim advocacy, and training.

It’s Not ‘Okay’: A Guidebook for Stalking Victims